When Anxiety Rules
Anxiety is one of the most common emotional struggles of our time, but few of us truly understand its purpose. Anxiety is a natural part of the human body’s built-in alarm system, which is designed to protect us from danger and signal when something feels unsafe or uncertain. Rather than being a flaw or a sign of weakness, anxiety is a biological response that helps keep us alive, alert, and connected. But when anxiety becomes chronic, it becomes a problem.
Because anxiety is so uncomfortable, our natural instinct is to avoid whatever seems to be causing it, and that is a natural reaction. Avoidance offers short-term relief, but it also reinforces the body’s alarm system to be on alert. Each time we avoid what makes us anxious, whether it’s a social situation, a hard conversation, or even our own feelings, we teach out brain that we can’t handle discomfort. The alarm remains active, and anxiety grows stronger over time.
Ironically, the solution to anxiety isn’t eliminating it. Restoring connection and emotional safety is the key to de-escalating the body’s natural alarm system. In children, this often means strengthening attachment with caring adults. In adults, it may involve reconnecting with oneself, one’s purpose, or supportive relationships.
Breaking the anxiety-avoidance cycle requires courage and self-compassion. It means gently approaching what we’ve been avoiding; not pushing through fear blindly, but facing it with support and understanding. When we do, we discover that the feelings we feared most can be felt and survived! Each step toward connection rewires the nervous system to trust safety again.
Anxiety is not the enemy! It’s a messenger calling us back to what truly matters. When we pay attention to it with curiosity instead of resistance, we can transform anxiety from a source of suffering into a guide toward deeper emotional integration and resilience.
If you would like help taking the first steps in this journey, a qualified counsellor can support you in this process of self-discovery and growth.
